FALL FROM THE HEIGHTS: KERING STUMBLES OVER HIS OWN BRILLIANCE

How Luxury Took a Nosedive While Wearing Patent Loafers

Ah, Kering.

Once the pride of the French market, now the star of a stock market tragedy. The owner of everyone’s favorite “G”s – Gucci, Gaultier (in theory) and… well, we could use one more to make the rhythm work. But the rhythm is gone – along with investors’ patience. The Paris stock exchange? Down 6%. In the world of luxury, that’s like showing up to a gala in AliExpress knockoffs.

It all comes down to numbers.
Because while luxury thrives on narrative, the charts speak mercilessly: in Q1, revenue dropped by 14%, and Gucci – the golden child of fashion – took a 25% dive. This isn’t a slight shortness of breath; it’s a full-on injury. Time for a cast. And a consultation with a fashion orthopedist.

Gucci, the emblem of Gen Z and a few earlier gens who now pretend they never wore the double-G belt, is the one in need of support. Meanwhile, Deutsche Bank – known for ruining moods more effectively than a French weather forecast – just slashed Kering’s forecast by another 13%. And there’s not a trace of glitter in sight.

The board, keeping things classy, responded gracefully: “challenging market conditions,” “slowdown in China,” “internal reorganization.” Lovely phrases. The kind you use when no one knows what went wrong, but something needs to be said – because the press conference has already started.

And all this in Paris – the city that has always known spectacle. Be it operatic or economic. Yesterday, it was about the future of haute couture. Today, it’s about the future of stock prices. Chanel No. 5 mixing with the sweat of analysts.

But don’t worry.
This is just one act in a much longer play. Because luxury – as we know – has mastered the art of the comeback. Right now we may be in an “underdeliver” moment, but “overpromise” is surely around the corner. Maybe even a new vision, a new creative director, and a new collection no one understands but everyone wants.

So for now, let’s put our Net-a-Porter cart on pause, slide our sunglasses down (black, of course), and wait. Kering is going through a “moment of transformation.” In human language – they’re in trouble. But in fashion? That’s just a Tuesday.

Because while Instagram mourns Gucci and financial sites tally the damage with glee, one thing remains true: luxury never dies – it reinvents itself.

And even if today’s crisis looks like collapse, tomorrow someone will turn it into a campaign with Jared Leto on a horse. And us? We’ll once again buy what we don’t need – just to be part of the shimmering absurdity.

Because in fashion, nothing really dies.
It’s just waiting for a comeback. In an even more expensive package.

Photo: Adam Katz Sinding/WWD